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BUILT TO LAST – God’s Plan for Love, Marriage & Family

Week 1 | Built on Purpose: God's Design For Singleness & Dating

Several years ago, a young man was walking through a home improvement store looking for tools. He picked up a power drill and asked the employee, “What is this for?” The employee said, “It’s for drilling holes.” The young man nodded, bought it, went home… and tried to use it as a hammer.

After a few frustrating hours, he returned to the store angry and said, “This thing doesn’t work!” The employee looked at him and said, “It works perfectly… you’re just using it for something it was never designed to do.”

That’s where many people are in relationships today.

Not because they’re bad…

Not because they don’t care…

But because they’re trying to use dating, relationships, and even marriage in ways God never designed.

And when we ignore God’s design… we end up with UNNECESSARY PAIN, CONFUSION, and BROKENNESS.

TRANSITION

If we’re going to be Built to Last, we have to start with this truth:

You cannot build THE RIGHT RELATIONSHIP on THE WRONG FOUNDATION.

And before God ever brings the right person into your life… God WANTS TO BUILD THE RIGHT PERSON IN YOU.

FOUNDATIONAL SCRIPTURE

Matthew 6:33 (ESV)

But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

POINT 1: IDENTITY BEFORE INTIMACY

We live in a culture that says: “Find someone, and then you’ll discover who you are.”

But God says: “Know who you are in Me, and then you’ll know who you’re looking for.”

Genesis 1:27

So God created man (humans) in his own image…

Our identity is not found in: a relationship status; or someone’s approval; or someone choosing you 

Our identity is found in being created in the image of God.

Colossians 2:10

and in Christ you have been brought to fullness.…

You are not incomplete; You are not lacking; You are not waiting for someone to “complete you.”

You are already complete in Jesus.

BIG IDEA…

If you don’t know your identity, you’ll settle for the identity someone else defines for you.

A lack of identity leads to settling for relationships that shape you instead of relationships that support who God made you to be.

POINT 2: DATE WITH PURPOSE, NOT PRESSURE

Culture says: “Date for fun.” or “Date to see what happens.”

But Scripture calls us to intentionality. Proverbs 4:23 Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.

According to scriptural principle, dating is not casual — it’s purposeful and intentional with the an eye on the trajectory toward the ultimate goal.

Amos 3:3 Can two walk together unless they are agreed?

So dating is not about chemistry, first. First, It’s about alignment.

BIG IDEA…

If you are not clear in your purpose for dating, you’ll end up dating because you feel driven by pressure instead of direction.

When you don’t know why you’re dating, you’ll let loneliness, culture, age, comparison or emotions decide for you.

BUT PURPOSE SAYS… “I’m not just looking for someone — I’m looking for alignment with God’s will.”

POINT 3: SINGLENESS IS PREPARATION, NOT PUNISHMENT

One of the biggest lies is: “Something is wrong with me because I’m single.”

But Scripture reframes singleness in 1 Corinthians 7:32 …An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord.

Ecclesiastes 3:1 (ESV) For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:

This season of singleness is not wasted time until you are married — it’s precious time that God is using to prepare you for the next assignment in your life or something that you cannot handle right now.

BIG IDEA…

Often, God uses your single season to get you ready for what you’ve been asking Him for.

God is doing a work in you now so you’ll be ready for what He wants to do through you later.

PRACTICAL TOOLS FOR SINGLES & DATING

1. ESTABLISH YOUR IDENTITY IN CHRIST DAILY

Time in Word and prayer 

Declare truth over your life 

Before someone chooses you—God already did.

2. WRITE DOWN YOUR GODLY PRINCIPLES

Not preferences—your core values 

It’s about Character over chemistry 

If you don’t define your standards, emotions will.

3. GUARD YOUR HEART BY EFFECTIVELY USING BOUNDARIES

Emotional boundaries; Physical boundaries; Spiritual alignment 

Boundaries aren’t there to restrict love or weaken a relationship— they’re there to protect what matters to help it grow the right way.

4. INVITE WISE, TRUSTED, GODLY PEOPLE TO SPEAK INTO YOUR RELATIONSHIP

Spiritual accountability and Wise counsel 

Isolation in dating or relationships creates blind spots. It’s easier to ignore red flags and believe what isn’t true.

5. FOCUS ON BECOMING THE RIGHT PERSON, NOT JUST FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON

Grow spiritually; Heal emotionally; Develop the purpose for your life

Instead of searching for the right relationship and asking, “Where are they?” Start investing in becoming someone who can build the right relationship”

CLOSING MOMENT

Some of you are frustrated because you feel like you’re waiting…

But what if you’re not waiting… What if you’re being built?

YOU’RE BEING BUILT BECAUSE… God is not trying to give you something prematurely that your character can’t sustain.

CONSISTENT PRAYER MOVING FORWARD…

For those who are currently single: “God, build me before I find the right person for me.” 

For Those dating: “God, align my relationship with Your purpose.” 

For Those recovering from past relationships: “God, heal the wounds from my past relationships—both what I allowed and what was done to me. Help me not carry that pain into the future relationships You’re preparing for me.” 

FINAL DECLARATION

“I am not incomplete; I am not behind; I am being built by God…

and what He builds… lasts.”